Phoenix: The Next Generation
by Scooter
Summary: Settled into Juuban with his family, Saburo understands what it means to be the son of Ranma Soatome when agreements from the past come back to haunt him, in the form on an arranged marriage. As if he didn't have enough girl problems already.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Holy Cow! Twenty chapters, and I'm still nowhere near the end! This thing's become a monster. And I don't know if I'm going to top the last chapter.

And as for any questions about continuity, this Ranma never met the Tendos until the last chapter. She fled her panda of a scum…father in China after being cursed. So no Locking Ladle, no Unlocking Kettle, no Herb. Of course, he's got Mousse-chan now as a bride. As for the Sailor Moon continuity, your guess is as good as mine, except the Inners are all 16, Saturn is 12, Neptune and Uranus are 18, and Setsuna…Priceless…er, immortal.

00000

Saburo walked through the gates of Juuban High Monday morning, his head hanging lower than it was last week when he found out about the Tendo-Saotome agreement that his grandmother almost all but forced him to honor. "Marx-san." Saburo looked up and saw the principal standing in front of him.

"Kuno-sensei?"

Principal Kuno (Tatewaki, not his Hawaiian, haircut-fetish nutcase of a father) looked at his half-Japanese student. "Marx-san, I wish to congratulate you on your victory yesterday. It is not everyday that my fierce tigress is beaten. Although, I must confess I do not know how you did it without breaking a sweat."

"Sensei?" Saburo had a quizzical look on his face. Here he was, being congratulated by the husband of Akane Tendo, someone who was as old as his mother, and should have had the same level of skill.

Kuno clapped the eldest school age Marx on the shoulder. "I see your victory has left you speechless. Again, I wish you congratulations, and you needn't worry about my daughters or wife challenging you to a rematch. I told her in no uncertain terms that you won fairly." Before Saburo could reply, Kuno turned and walked into the school, leaving those students who heard the exchange to talk amongst themselves.

"I beat his wife and daughters in a martial arts competition, destroy the Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling, and he congratulates me. Can this really be happening to me?"

"Why Airrren talk to self," Tigar asked, as she silently walked up to her Amazon law husband.

"Because I defeated the heir to Mom's sister school yesterday. And Mom took their sign, destroying the school. Of course, Akane or her daughters weren't a great challenge."

"So?" Tigar placed her arm around Saburo's, a motion not lost on the other students, especially the girls.

"It means…hell; I don't know what it means anymore. Why can't my life be simple, like everyone else's?"

Tigar smiled. "If life werrre simple, Airrren, then life would be borrring. Challenge and adverrrsity makes us grrrow."

"When did you start sounding like Great-auntie Cologne?"

"When Elderrr Xian Pu adopt me from Elder Rrrin Su's family beforrre coming to Japan. She full of grrreat Elder Kuh Lon's wisdom."

"So, what would she say about me?" Saburo noticed Ami was walking towards them.

"She would say make best of oddball situation." Tigar chuckled. "Like in anime, Japanese have penchant forrr love polygons."

"Oh boy, do we ever. Now I know how Tenchi felt," Saburo muttered. "Tigar…I'd like you to meet my fiancée, Ami Mizuno. Ami, my Amazon-law wife Tigar. I'd like you both to keep an open mind about this. And let's not forget there's still Jenny to tell about this."

Tigar looked at the blue-haired girl. "Xian Pu said therrre would be days like this," she muttered. "Nihao, I is Tigarrr."

"Ami Mizuno," the Senshi of Mercury said, quietly with a bow. "Who's Jenny?"

00000

Somewhere outside of the timestream, there was a meaty thud as the marble floor of the Time Gates rose up to meet the Senshi of Time's face. "**_Oh, deary dear,_**" the Gates said, with a chuckle, "**_that had to hurt._**"

"You have no idea," Setsuna replied, from the floor. The hem of her fuku had flipped up when she hit the floor, revealing the silk thong (black, of course) from Frederick's of Hollywood. And proof that Setsuna a) doesn't wear a stitch when she sunbathes, and b) her emerald locks are natural. "Nor did I have any idea that this was going to happen." She recovered her normal poise.

"**_Yes, I know. The only one in that family I can accurately scan the future of is Colonel Marx. The others make me…unstable. I am even unable to scan Saburo's maternal grandmother. But, I don't believe that the family is a threat to Crystal Tokyo._**" Unbidden, the portal of the doughnut-shaped sentient Guardian of Forever showed a better Crystal Tokyo, which wasn't the happy, coma-inducing vision that Usagi wanted of the future. Certainly, there was strife, there were certain problems that were consistent with modern Earth, but there was an underlying feeling of contentment that was missing in other, sugary sweet timestreams.

"This will bear further investigations, of course." With that pronouncement, Setsuna teleported to the school, her fuku changing into one of her business suits.

From behind the monolith walked a certain white cat with a crescent moon on his forehead. "You know, all these millennia, and I never knew her hair color was natural."

The monolith chuckled. "**_You realize, of course, if Setsuna finds you here, she's going to have catsu don._**" There was an inflection in the monolith's voice that told the white mau that the katsu don he was referring too would be made with something other than a pork cutlet.

"Ok, ok, I'm going. Um, can you open a portal to Minako's place for me?"

The monolith laughed even louder, as Artemis quickly fled through the portal.

00000

Tigar eyed the local competition for her husband, before making her decisions. Ami wasn't a fighter, she could tell. But the loremaster, Elder Lo Xian, always taught in her classes in the village that brains are as valuable as brawn. The Amazon catgirl shifted her look to her husband. "Please tell me this is some sorrrt of odd joke, Airrren."

"I wish it was, Tigar. Remember what I told you last week?" Tigar nodded. "Ami is the granddaughter of my baka panda grandfather's training partner. Probably in some sort of drunken stupor, they agreed to unite their families and schools."

"And yesterday, Saburo defeated my Aunt and cousins, as well as destroyed the Tendo School of Anything Goes," Ami added.

"Apparently her aunt didn't like the fact that I chose Ami over either of her daughters. So we had a Challenge by Combat."

"And you won," Tigar said. Saburo nodded. "That why you talk to self this morrrning?" He nodded again. The catgirl looked at Ami again and smiled. She took the Senshi of Mercury's head in her hands, and Kissed the surprised part time superheroine. Saburo almost panicked, but sort of calmed down when he saw that Tigar had kissed Ami's forehead, not her lips. "I name you nearrr-sisterrr, and welcome you to Joketsuzoku Trrribe. May Arrrtemis strrrike down any Amazon who harrrm you, thinking you is Outsiderrr. Just need to tell Elderrr Xian Pu afterrr school."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Saburo just realized what happened. He put his head in his hands, and repeated his father's rhetorical question from yesterday. "What kami did I piss off? Please, someone tell me."

Ami looked at the two. "What just happened," she asked, confused.

Tigar still had this smile on her face. "I adopt you into Amazon nation. Now you is not obstacle, and we can sharrre Airrren." She had a conspiratorial look on her face. "Besides, I is tigerrr cursed by Nyanniichuan. I have no prrroblem if I sharrre mate." There was a meaty thud as Saburo's face cratered the pavement. "That look like it hurrrt, Airrren." Even Ami cringed.

"'Young Girl Water'? Magic can't…doesn't exist," Ami said skeptically, as they dragged their mutual fiancé into the school, after he suffered another OS crash. Of course, she kept the fact that she was a Magical Girl secret, although how that would factor into this relationship, she didn't know yet.

"You speak Han? Japanese make me sound too, too stupid."

"Enough to get by if I have to," Ami replied in Mandarin.

"I'll keep it simple," Tigar said. "Therrre's a trrraining grrround in Qinghai, nearrr my village. It became currrsed thrrree thousand yearrrs ago when Dai Rrryuujin no Nishi currrse arrrea afterrr deception by one of our firrrst matrrriarrrchs. Therrre arrre hundrrreds of sprrrings, each one with its own trrragic storrry. A few are perrrmanent and fatal. Two arrre not, the rrrest arrre temporrrarrry, cold waterrr activate currrse, hot waterrr change back.

"Nyanniichuan is one of the nonfatal sprrrings. Amazons adopt me into trrribe."

"So what's the other nonfatal spring," Ami asked.

"That is an Amazon secrrret. I'd have to ask Elderrr Xian Pu if I can tell you. Airrren's motherrr, who is also an adopted Amazon, does not know eitherrr." The bell rang, as the homeroom teacher walked in. "We talk at lunch, sisterrr."

"Sure," Ami replied.

00000

Major Nagase found her boss in the Embassy's courtyard, doing katas. Marx may not be at the same level as his wife, or even his children, but he could hold his own in a fight, if it came down to it. And, after yesterday's turn of events, had some significant amounts stress to release. Nagase noticed several different martial arts being used, and waited patiently while the Colonel put his middle aged body through all sorts of contortions. "Colonel, Yeoman Rand said I could find you here," she said, as he began his cool down exercises. "Musabetsu Kakutou?"

"My wife's School," he said, his joints going "Snap", "Crackle", "Pop" as he stretched out. "What's up?"

"The General Staff is deliberating on your suggestion, sir, and I feel that there will be a positive response. They too feel that American servicemen have been wreaking havoc on the Japanese population for far too long." She saw the look on the Colonel's face, and added "Perhaps that was too strong…"

"I know what you meant, Major. That was something that always bothered me when I was here fifteen years ago when I was a first lieutenant."

"First lieutenant to colonel in fifteen years is quite an accomplishment, sir."

"It helps when you have two kills to your credit in a plane that whose parent company thought was a joke. Proved Lockheed wrong in more ways than one. Especially since the Air Force forced them to take the Raptor back to the drawing boards." Marx toweled off the sweat on his face. "There's something else bothering you, Major," he said.

"Sir, it's just that are you sure you want to pursue this course of action? I can sympathize with Commander Lowe's arguments…"

Marx raised his hand, forestalling any further comment. "Major…Kei, the Cold War is finally thawing. The Russians are admitting that Communism is a failure, and may eventually hold free elections and turn into a market economy." He sat down on the bench, and motioned for Nagase to join him. "The problem is the United States is near where Rome once was, before the _Pax Romana_ collapsed.

"There used to be a time, when there was a draft, that the wheat was separated from the chaff in basic training and in technical schools. Now that we're an all volunteer force, the wheat and the chaff are mixed together, almost impossible to sort them out until it's too late. That is why I'm pursuing this course, Major. It's a small step to trying to repay a host nation's population for eighty years of running roughshod over them. Many years ago, when I arrived at my first overseas duty station, I was a young, impressionable airman. We were told that we were the ambassadors of our nation. And I still feel that way. The US military overseas is more visible than some ambassador living in a guarded, fortified embassy compound, like this one. The way our troops comport themselves is as important to how we are perceived by our host nation, as the treaties our ambassadors sign. Can you see why this is important?"

"It is sir," Nagase admitted.

"Now my views are totally off the record. But, they're what I've seen as a teacher, a soldier, a parent, and a mentor. Sorry about getting on my soapbox."

"That's quite alright sir. You've put this into better perspective than I could see otherwise. Thank you, and with your permission, I'll take these reasons to the General Staff.

"Also, sir, you may want to be careful practicing Musabetsu Kakutou. It's considered a thief's Art."

Marx smiled. "My wife's been reforming the School. And we took the sign of the sister school to the Marx Ryu." That got Kei's attention. "The heir lost the challenge, to my son. Goes to show that if that was the best they had, it's better that they disappear. And you have my permission to inform the General Staff of my 'unofficial' views."

"Sir, I grew up in Nerima. The Tendo Dojo was the only Dojo that taught Musabetsu Kakutou. At least until the sensei's wife died. Of course, there are rumors that the Nerima Panty Thief lives at that particular Dojo now, so it might have been a good thing that they lost the challenge.

"Sir, again with your permission," Nagase stood, as Marx nodded.

00000

The lunch bell rang, and Saburo looked at Tigar. "I'll meet you outside," he said, as he vaulted out the window.

"Does he always do that," Ami asked, an incredulous look on her face. She and Tigar took the more normal route downstairs.

Tigar nodded, her ears resting limply on her head. "Sisterrr," she said, "therrre is anotherrr that has ourrr Airrren's hearrrt."

Ami looked at the Amazon catgirl. "Ok," she drawled, "just what kind of Casanova is Saburo anyway?"

Tigar just shrugged her shoulders when she answered. "The kind that has too, too many people interrrferrring with Airrren's life. Elderrr Rrrin Su, his panda of a grrrandfatherrr, maybe even cerrrtain deities. I do not know." The two girls walked out of the school, heading towards what was rapidly becoming known as Saburo's Tree. The other students saw that it was where he wanted to be alone, and avoided it like the plague.

Ami noticed that the other Senshi were looking at her, she said to Tigar "I'll be over in a few minutes. There's some business I need to take care of first." Tigar nodded, and sat down by Saburo.

"So…what happened yesterday, that you had to go to your grandfathers?" Makoto asked, as Ami joined the other Inner Senshi.

"I…was chosen to uphold an honor agreement between my family and the family of his training partner," Ami replied simply. It was apparent that the other Inners missed this morning's little ceremony in front of the school. Thank the Kami for small things.

"So, what was the agreement," Minako pressed.

The Senshi of Mercury looked down at the grass. "I got engaged," she mumbled.

Usagi looked at her friend. "It sounded like you said you got engaged." Ami nodded. "Who's the lucky boy?" Still not looking at her friends, Ami pointed to Saburo.

"WHAT! YOU GOT ENGAGED TO SABURO!" The courtyard was treated to Dateless Duo's shout in surround sound. The student body of Juuban High all turned their heads towards the shouting. Saburo, sparring with Tigar, was startled into missing a block when he heard the shout, and was currently on the ground in a fetal position, whimpering in agony.

Ami looked up at her friends, her eyes hooded, her countenance grim. "I really would have appreciated it if you hadn't shouted it out loud," she growled. "Yes, I did. His grandfather was my grandfather's training partner. As Marx-san put it, they probably agreed to unite the families while drunk. Aunt Akane wasn't happy when he chose me over my two spoiled brat cousins, so there was an engagement challenge by combat.

"Without moving, he took out my cousins. Aunt Akane didn't like that, so she challenged him to combat for Grandfather's dojo sign. I never saw anyone move like that before. It was like Aunt Akane was fighting water, he was that fluid. And graceful too." Her dark expression changed to something more like a dreamy one, as she remembered the fight. "When he got bored with her strong arm tactics, he took her out with pressure points. You couldn't see him moving, except when Aunt Akane stopped moving, and collapsed to the floor of the Dojo.

"My mother was in shock, Grandfather stood there crying his eyes out, Uncle Tatewaki nodded his assessment. And my aunt…well, she soiled herself, since some of the pressure points Saburo hit were for muscle control."

"But what about Tigar? Didn't you say last week that there's this law that obstacles will be dealt with on a permanent basis?"

Ami smiled. "I did. And since Tigar apparently doesn't mind sharing, she made me her…sister, I guess would be the best way to put it."

"Ewww! Isn't polygamy illegal?"

"I'm sure there are ways around it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend some time with my fiancé and sister before lunch ends."

00000

Tigar walked into the residential apartments of the Chinese Embassy, her step was light. She set her school books down, and was about to head into the kitchen to fix herself an after school snack (Tuna, yum!) when a clearing throat caught her attention. "Elderrr Xian Pu," the catgirl said, greeting her guardian.

"Tigar," the youngest Elder in Amazon history said, returning the greeting. An Amazon would normally be eligible for election to the Council around their seventh decade, at the earliest. With Shampoo, it was Cologne's dying wish that her heir take her seat on the Council. The Council relented, as fifty years of wise leadership from Cologne kept Beijing from sending in the Army to crush the Amazons. It was first with the alliance of the Amazons, Musk and Phoenix, that Shampoo proved herself worthy of the title "Elder", followed by proving to Beijing that the province could be autonomous. A three party presidency, with Saffron the only one with a permanent seat, ensured that all parties worked together for greater good of the province.

But the personal cost had been high for the Amazon. Both her husband and daughter had been killed in a Musk raid on the village, a year after they had visited Ranma and her family in America. Herb had denied ordering the raid, and which was confirmed by his father. The planners of the raid were bound, dunked in Yaazuniichuan or Heituenniichuan, then hit with water from the Chiisuiton, and turned into a peace offering to the Amazons. Once peace was firmly entrenched in the home of Jusenkyo, Xian Pu refused to remarry, dressing in mourning clothes, until she was appointed to Beijing by the provincial council, to ensure their continued autonomy.

The catgirl stood in front of the Elder that had pressed to adopt her from Rin Su, and show her the ways of the modern world. "Elderrr, I beg yourrrr forrrgiveness on a matterrr affecting the Trrribe. I will accept whateverrr punishment you deem fit."

Shampoo looked up from the report she was reviewing. "What happened?"

"Saburrro won a challenge yesterrrday, and as a rrresult has anotherrr fiancée."

The Ambassador set the report down on the coffee table, and took a sip of the amber liquid in the crystal tumbler. "It wasn't an Amazon marriage challenge was it?" Tigar shook her head. "Then sit, and please tell me about it."

She sat across from her guardian on the edge of the chair, and related what Saburo had told her, without variation. During the retelling, Shampoo shook her head, wondering just what kind of jackass her sister's father really was, and if there was anything else waiting around the corner. "…I made the decision rrright then and therrre. Therrre is something about Ami Mizuno that is morrre than meets the eye, Elderrr. But, I like the girrrl, and do not see herrr as an obstacle. I gave herrr the Kiss of Sisterrrhood."

Shampoo chuckled lightly. "Like I did with Ranma all those years ago," she reminisced. "Do you think she'll make a good addition to the Tribe?"

"Ami has a mind like a computerrr, Elderrr. She is verrry analytical, and intelligent. Elderrr Lo Xian always says that not all fighting is brrrawn. She would make a good diplomat." She scratched an ear for a moment. "But it was verrry strrrange that Saburrro planted face in grrround when I said I didn't mind sharrring to Ami. I thought that all men like that idea."

Shampoo kept the dignity of her position, and stayed in her chair. "There are some things are best discussed after the wedding, Tigar. Now, don't you have homework to do?"

"Yes, Elderrr," Tigar said, as she stood, grabbed her school books and headed to her rooms.

Shampoo sipped her scotch. "My, what interesting times I'm living in." She looked up towards the heavens. "I hope you're enjoying the floorshow, Great-Grandmother," she added with a chuckle.

00000


	2. Chapter 2

Ami walked into the house she shared with her mother. It was a modest residence, one that didn't scream "I have lots of money!" but it was theirs. Sometimes the sometime-Senshi of Mercury wondered why her mother had kept her married name, even though her father, one of Soun's last students of Musabetsu Kakutou after the death of his wife, divorced Kasumi not to long after Ami's birth. Of course, the circumstances behind both the marriage and divorce were…shameful for the Tendos in the least.

But it wasn't as though Kasumi was harmed by the experience. If anything, the eldest Tendo daughter was galvanized by her situation. As soon as she was able to, Kasumi finished college, majoring in pre-med, did her internship and residency at Tokyo General, threw everyone in both her class and family for a loop when she opted for both aerospace and trauma medicine, instead of the family GP they all thought she would become, and still managed to graduate first in her class, even though the hours were hell on her daughter.

The real surprise for her family was when she announced at dinner one night after graduation that she was enlisting in the Air Self Defense Force. Her father tried talking her out of it, saying that the ASDF was only for those that graduated from second-best schools. Kasumi's reply, in a calm voice, "What the hell do you think Furinkan is, Father…Eton? You should be glad I was even able to get into Todai. Baka oyaji." Eyebrows were raised when her family heard her swear. Even eight year old Ami raised her eyebrow, hearing her mother curse. The only one who supported her decision was Nodoka, and that's because she had known their mother's father, another IJN fighter pilot, who'd served with her father in China.

But, with the support of her sisters, and a special dispensation from the Central Air Division Commander, General Tskumoto, Kasumi went through basic and OCS, and showed the same determination she had shown in college, and graduated honor graduate in both schools, then spent two and a half years in the United States between Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, for flight surgeon school, and Randolph Air Force Base, learning to fly. Kasumi's proudest day was the day she earned her wings. Both her daughter and Nabiki, who was working for Mitsushima Heavy Industries, in their Philadelphia office, were at the ceremony to pin her wings on her blue Class-A's. Then back to Japan, for posting at Iruma Airbase, as the base's only flight surgeon. If anything, Kasumi brought honor back to the Tendo family with her accomplishments. She also included the occasional night shift as trauma doc for Tokyo General, just to keep her connection with the community.

"Taidama," Ami called, she put her house slippers on. Even with all her mother had been through, she was still a traditional Japanese woman at heart. Ami noticed that there were two other sets of shoes in the genkan.

"I'm in the kitchen, Ami-chan," Kasumi called. "And I've got a surprise for you."

"Nothing could beat yesterday and today for surprises," the blue-haired girl muttered under her breath, as she walked into the kitchen. "Auntie Nabs," she shouted, running into her aunt's arms. "When did you get here?"

"Last night. Lauren and I stopped by to see your mother. And she's been filling us in on all the latest news about the family." Nabiki shook her head. "It seems we no longer have a legacy."

Ami nodded at her aunt. "Hai, because Aunt Akane can't keep either her big mouth or my spoiled cousins in check."

"Ami," her mother said reprovingly. "Your cousins are not spoiled." Ah, even for all her accomplishments, the classic pre-married life vacuous Kasumi still makes an appearance.

"Then explain why Kimiko and Natsume can apparently do no wrong in their mother's eyes? Hell sis, even I see it when I come home to visit. Why do you think I don't like coming home, anyway? And it's not just because Daddy doesn't approve of my choice in partner. It's because Akane was Daddy's little princess, heir to a dying school."

Grudgingly, Kasumi acknowledged her sister's point of view. "It's just that Akane tries so hard to be the best mother for them."

"Sis," Nabiki countered, "how many times did Akane try to be a better cook than you, only to have what she made come alive on us? Kami-sama, I'm glad imouto-chan married into the Kunos. At least they can afford to have a fulltime staff."

Nabiki looked at her niece and gracefully changed the subject. "So, who's the vic…er, lucky guy that gets to marry a Tendo? Even if it is a generation removed."

Ami sat down, and sipped the cup of green tea that her mother had provided. "Saburo Marx," she said plainly. "Eldest son of Ranma Saotome and Christopher Marx, grandson of Nodoka Saotome."

Nabiki wiped her face off. "Lauren, if you are going to do that again," she asked sweetly, but with a hint of venom, "please, face the sink. Or it's the couch for you." Yes, Lauren Hutton understood almost every word being said. Nabiki had taught the redheaded Air Force technical sergeant, and a certain pig-headed general's secretary, Japanese, usually by screaming in her native tongue when they were in bed, or in the car on one of the empty bivouac sites along Ft Dix's Range Road. Or…well, you get the picture.

"Sorry, Nabs," Lauren said. "I don't believe it. Colonel Marx's son is like a martial arts god, who can't help but get into trouble with authority. You have no idea how many times I had to run interference between the Colonel and General Cortalano when Summit High School would call the Colonel in because his son was in a fight at school and Ranma wasn't there to defuse the situation.

"Plus, when he'd go to China every summer, I had to have my contacts in OSI keep the contact reports that he'd have to fill out when he got back from landing on General Cortalano's desk."

"I take it there's bad blood between Saburo's father and this particular general," Kasumi asked.

"Oh, good god yes. The two of them are like oil and a lit flare. All it would take is just one little thing to set them at each other's throats." Lauren smiled a not so nice smile, as a vein began to bulge on Ami's forehead. "I can't tell you the number of times I'd see the General storm out of his office, heading for Colonel Marx's. Or the shouting I heard through the three foot thick steel reinforced concrete floors in the headquarters building."

The vein started throb. "Figures," Ami muttered, "like father, like son. I just hope that Saburo's father doesn't have another wife somewhere…" The looks she suddenly got from everyone made Ami feel six inches small. "Oh shit."

"What was that about another wife," Kasumi asked patiently, but in the sort of voice that screamed "Tell me, or you're grounded for the rest of your life."

"Um…where to begin?"

"The beginning usually helps."

"Well, um…okay. You see, it's like this…" Ami told her mother, aunt, and her aunt's girlfriend what Saburo and Tigar had told her. Of course, she left out the part that Tigar was originally a tiger that fell into a magical spring of water and turned into an anime-style catgirl. And she finished with "…and if you don't believe me, you can always call Saburo's father up. I'm sure his office number is listed in the official directories, Mom."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ami, it's just that this sounds like something out of an anime."

"Mom, you have no idea," she muttered. "I've got homework to do, okay?"

"Of course. We'll talk about this later, Ami-chan." Kasumi placed her head in her hands. "First Keiichi, and now this. What Kami did I annoy to deserve this torment," she asked rhetorically, ironically repeating both Marx and his son.

As is their want, the Kami remained quiet. They're too busy watching their latest favorite reality show. _Survivor_ got old, quickly, since it was too easy to predict the winners.

00000

Saburo was walking home from the library, having sent Gregory home. He didn't need the Protective Services agent right now, and he needed time to think. He was stuck; smack dab in the middle of a love triangle…no that would have implied only two girls. He was stuck in a love tetrahedron, a lovely little geometric figure that could explain his situation brilliantly. There was Tigar, a girl—well, catgirl—he had a crush on since he was eleven. Then there was Jenny, his girlfriend back in New Jersey; they'd been going out for over a year, and had been voted "Most Likely to Marry" by their class in the yearbook. And now, there was a new variable added: Ami Mizuno, granddaughter to his grandfather's training partner, and pledged to be his bride by an honor agreement between the old fools. The sun was setting, and he was facing the west, so he couldn't see all that well when two silhouettes appeared out of an alley.

"You don't think we're worthy?" Kimiko, or was it Natsume, said.

"You don't think we have any skill?" The other said.

"You're right," Saburo replied, calmly. "You don't have any skill, and I don't date prepubescent girls."

"Then…Die!" The girls charged at him, one pulling a mallet out of "stuff space", the other a rug beater.

"Oh boy," Saburo muttered He dodged the first swing of the mallet, which put him in the path of the rug beater. "Ok, time to get serious," he said to himself, when the rug beater connected.

Kimiko, with the mallet, went for an overhead strike, which landed in the pavement, when her target got out of the way. Natsume attempted a backhand, and when that didn't work, tried a forehand. Saburo ducked, dodged, and weaved the strikes. "Your hips are too thick," he called to Kimiko, and ducked the swing. "You're built like a brick," to Natsume, followed by a vault over her head. "Neither of you have any skill," to the both of them, and circled around them.

"Saburo no baka!" The both shouted at him, and charged. Their target, however, was leading them around in a spiral, as he continued to evade their attacks.

"Hiryu Shoten Ha, revised—Dance of the Flying Snake!" With that, he punched the air, and a small tornado enveloped the two Kuno twins. Within the twister, provided from Saburo's hidden weapons training, was ten meters of parachute cord, which entangled Kimiko and Natsume, wrapping them up like mummies, complete with knots, before wrapping around a street lamp. "Don't trifle with me, little girls," he said to the mummified Kuno twins. "The cost is too high."

Saburo walked into the apartment building, his nerves on a high state of alert. Walking through the door of their apartment, he shouted "Taidama," as he closed the door and changed to house slippers.

"You're home late," his mother called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, well, the Blunder Twins decided to ambush me outside the library," he muttered, walking into the kitchen. "I'm really glad they don't have any skill, otherwise I'd have wound up in the hospital with blunt force trauma. Even with the Bakusai Tenketsu training, it'd still hurt."

"Oh?" That piqued Ranma's interest.

"Yeah. Natsume had a rug beater, Kimiko had a mallet. Neither one was very good with their weapons. Plus they ambushed me, and I had no choice but to defend myself."

"You didn't injure them, did you?"

"Nah, I left'em alive but wrapped up. Dad was right. '550' cord sure comes in handy for a thousand and one uses." He, of course, neglected to tell his mother where he left them wrapped up. That would earn a lecture from her.

It still didn't save him, however. "Saburo, that was mean."

"What would you have liked me to have done, Mom, beat them unconscious?"

"Of course not. But, if I had been in your shoes, I probably would have beaten them unconscious, then left them at the doctor's office." Ranma stirred the pot of miso soup as she thought how to broach the next topic. "Saburo, your grandmother would like to start training you in the art of the sword. If you think you're going to be attacked by the Kuno girls on a regular basis, a bokken might prove to be a sufficient deterrent."

"And where am I going to keep it? On my backpack like some deranged samurai," Saburo retorted.

"No," Ranma countered. "You know Hidden Weapons. Maybe it's time you used it for more than your school books."

"I'll think about it, Mom," he replied. "But I've never seen you use a weapon. And isn't using weapons a violation of the basic tenets of Musabetsu Kakutou?"

"No. Reliance on a weapon's art and nothing else is a bad thing. Weapons are, after all, a significant part of every martial art. Think about the Amazons. They're superb martial artists in both armed and unarmed combat. Look at the Hiryu Shoten Ha, the Amaguriken, and even the Bakusai Tenketsu are all unarmed techniques, which keep even the most experienced swordsman at bay."

"I know Mom, it's just that I enjoy practicing the Art for the pureness of rhythm of the family school. With a weapon, I'll be afraid of injuring or even killing someone."

"I know you do, Saburo-kun." Ranma set the miso to simmer, and pulled her son into an embrace. "But what's the main tenet of the school?"

Her son looked into Ranma's blue eyes, and could see the three thousand years of Amazon history there. The three thousand years that was crammed into her in nine months. So it was with all seriousness when Saburo answered. "Do unto others before they do unto you?"

Ranma laughed. "Where did you here that from, your father?" Saburo nodded sheepishly. "It figures he'd say something like that. I think that was the motto of the Minutemen. He's definitely going to get a piece of my mind tonight."

Saburo slipped out his mother's hug. "Just try to keep it down tonight, when you do. I've got both a physics and a calculus test to study for tonight." As he left the kitchen, he gave one last comment. "Perverts," he called, ducking behind the wall before his mother could retaliate.

"Wise ass," she muttered, going back to fixing dinner. "I'm home," she heard her husband from the front door. She waited by the door to the kitchen, and when Marx walked through the door, following his nose, she pounced like a lioness on a wounded zebra.

For his effort, Marx was rewarded by a wriggling wife, staying one step ahead of his grasp. "I got you know," he growled, locking his legs around his wife.

Ranma toppled onto him. "So, how was your day?" She asked, innocence in her blue eyes.

"Not bad. Don't plan on making dinner tomorrow night. We're having dinner at the Chinese Embassy."

"You didn't…" Ranma growled.

"No. I just talked to Xian Pu, through normal diplomatic channels, and reminded her that we'd like to meet our 'daughter-in-law' in a 'social' environment. Xian Pu is the one who suggested dinner at the Embassy. She'll work out the details tomorrow."


End file.
